Dear Pels, Over the last few days, I have been vacillating between disbelief, denial and devastation that I'll never see you again. I'll never receive one of your big bear hugs. In every quiet moment, another fond memory pops into my head and I am able to crack a wry smile. My memories of you are now in their hundreds, but the following few keep coming back and stand out for me most: 1. Your outdoor backyard cinema, where we watched anything from the latest release, to Masterchef or the tennis. 2. Summer music festivals, including a very rainy and wet Homebake where you kidnapped Knighty and did belly slides for hours in the mud in the Domain, and Good Vibes where you thought it would be a good idea to wear some sort of African headdress to disguise yourself from your students. 3. Sharing your wedding anniversary with Kate, drinking champagne at sunset down on the foreshore at Lavender Bay 4. Balmy summer BBQs at Parsons St and dinner parties at Crystal St - such a top host 5. Your penchant for any form of renovations, especially your excitement in the "Hollywood lighting" you installed under the bathroom basin in Bellevue Hill 6. "You like monkey" 7. Test-driving, negotiating and buying our beloved Freddie (Ford Focus) for us, because we were wussy car buying virgins. 8. Morcheeba, Cat Empire, Wolfmother 9. Appreciating a good red, always out of fancy glasses 10. Ol' blue eyes with girlie lashes and smooth moves on the dance floor, including your awesome wedding dance 11. World cup soccer and bacon and eggs rolls on our couch at 4am, with compulsory ugg boots 12. Your strange fetish for collecting framed sporting memorabilia 13. Your very worthy title as the meat man - meat always cooked to perfection and free flowing advice on how to marinade a good steak. I could go on and on. But I am mostly grateful for the very close friendship you gave to Knighty for so many years. You were always able to discuss your feelings and open up - something many men can't or won't do. You made it ok to have and show your softer side. I have no doubt this has rubbed off on Knighty and I thank you for that. Your unparalleled zest for life was inspiring. Your honesty with everyone and in everything you did was refreshing and at times, confronting and challenging. We miss you already, and will continue to miss your smiling face and big ideas. Thank you for so many good times and beautiful memories. Love Katie

I have wonderful memories of Chris. To me he was a kind and sensitive man, who had an amazing ability to listen, think and and offer thoughtful and advice. Thank you Chris, you words are still with me today. I feel lucky to have had Chris a member of my family, although he and my cousin Kate had their struggles in the later part of their relationship, there was no doubt that they loved each other very much and when you were around the two of them their happiness and excitement for the future was contagious. My thought are with all of the people that knew Chris, his passing is a huge loss for us all. I hope he has found peace.

It's been just over 9 years since I met Chris in the south of France. My fondest memory was our weekend trip of sporting trips to Scotland to watch the 2002 Open golf. What a weekend! It's an experience I have recalled on many occasions and one I am very happy to have spent with such a passionate person - Aussie Rules!! Chris you will always be remembered as the larger than life character with an infectious laugh and a big heart. Peace be with you and our thoughts are with your family and everyone else who has known you. Warwick & Leanne Kells P.s. Thursday 15th Sept is 'R U OK' Day - don't forget to ask someone if they are OK.

The Chris that I knew made my dear friend Kate the happiest bride I ever have seen. The images of their beaming faces on that sunny Sydney day will stay with me beyond the sadness that Kate and all who loved him are experiencing at the moment. It has long been discussed by friends as a “cracking wedding”. Great atmosphere, wonderful group of family & friends, fantastic food and wine, a very smooth first dance and Chris taking the microphone to serenade his bride are all memories that will stay with me. Whilst Chris and Kate’s fairytale did not have the happy ending they both wished for and deserved, any who witnessed them together during their relationship cannot deny that they did, for a time, make each other truly happy and that is something worth remembering. I will forever admire the strength that Chris showed in fighting the battle that he did. My thoughts and love go to all who are grieving Chris’s passing.

Mate - from the days when I was 10 years old and you took the time to bowl to me in the riverview nets as a first 11 player, I have always looked up to you. You were never too busy or too important for me. As we got older I always enjoyed the beers we shared together at various Hartman family functions I saw you at. I will be forever grateful for having the chance to know you Pels. Rest in peace mate, Ed

Pels - I will always remember you as someone I looked up to greatly as a member of the riverview first 11 with my brother Luke. I remember being in year 6 and batting in the nets against you. You always gave me the time of day and helped me with my cricket game. As we both got older I always enjoyed catching up with you for a beer and a chat at Luke's various birthday celebrations. I'm disappointed that I didn't get to see you the last few years after I moved overseas but I will be forever grateful that I got a chance to get to know you. Rest in peace mate, Ed Hartman

For me, Pelly will always be synonymous with roast potatoes. I have never known anyone else who could eat so many. The first time I met Chris, he came round for roast pork. Having got through the mountain of roast spuds on his plate, he disappeared off to the bathroom, only to return via the kitchen, grinning, munching on another and with one in each hand! Every time he came round we seemed to have roast potatoes and James (Jimmy) was always determined to cook enough to defeat Pelly’s appetite. Every time, Pelly rose to the challenge. He was also a great host and cooked delicious meals, including his signature sirloin of beef for James’ 40th birthday, not long after I arrived in Australia. I can see him clearly, glass of wine in hand, laughing with his friends, relaxed and happy. Chris was a great friend to James and we saw him relatively frequently over the past couple of years. I enjoyed Chris’ company every time I saw him, including the more recent times when he was obviously troubled. Even on those occasions, he managed to smile and engage in interesting conversation. He was a very special person and I’m so glad I got to know him.

You made a hugely positive impact on so many lives. Your warmth, caring nature and genuine friendship touched so many of us, sharing happiness, smiles and laughter. In particular, I will treasure memories of the many dinner parties and BBQs you hosted, always creating a party atmosphere, with great food, drink and humour surrounded by your numerous wonderful friends. You fought so hard with your health, especially in more recent times. You confided in me about some of these problems and I know you battled and tried persistantly to overcome them. I'm proud of you for the strength you showed and all the different ways you tried to make yourself well. I so enjoyed and valued our ten years of friendship and I'm finding it hard to come to terms with you not being with us any more. You always showed great appreciation and often told me I was a "Fabulous Man". This was so typical - you had this tremendous abillity to always make me feel good. Chris, you are THE Fabulous Man and you will be greatly missed. Jimmy

I lost contact with Chris when he left Scots but for a time we were good friends. He was very kind to me when I first moved to Sydney and started at the College. I'll always remember dancing to Van Morrison's 'Moondance' in his living room the night he invited me over for dinner. It was a moment of pure, simple joy. In a life so clearly haunted by darkness, I'm so honoured to have shared a moment of lightness with him.

We’re all pretty annoyed by Chris’s death but everyone is going to remember that Chris was a very kind person. But the bad thing was that some of us hardly got to meet him. Joel and me for example. We all had happy moments, I know I did . Rory, age 9 (Chris' nephew)

As a friend of Claire’s, I came to know Chris while he was working at Scot’s and was fortunate to have shared a few beers with him as well as a trip away to the south coast. He was one of those personalities that drew people in and when I think of him, I see him grinning back at me with a twinkle in his eye as he prepared to deliver some witty (and at times brutal!) one-liner in response to something I’d said. He always struck me as being as sharp as a tack, opinionated, immensely confident and so certain of everything he said; without ever having set a foot in his classroom, I know that he must have been an amazing teacher, for the passion with which he spoke about his various roles at school revealed the obvious, genuine concern that he had for his students. I will miss our lively discussions, his warm smile and the strength I drew from his frank acceptance of his illness. I am so terribly sorry that it did become too much for him and hope with everything in me that he has finally found some peace xxx

I played touch rugby with Pels in the 'Smooth As' Melbourne outfit - a team filled with 30-something year-old fringe profressionals who talked, drank, and ate pizza far better than we played. With his warm sense of humour and friendly nature, Pels slotted straight in. I didn't know him long, but i found him to be the kind of bloke who cared about his friends and loved to share a joke. He had one of those smiles that lit up a room - awful to think that he had so much pain inside. Rest in Peace Pels. I knew you long enough to recognise the privilege. Tim

Some great things I remember of Pels while we were at Scots teaching together: - bowling down thunderbolts and reminding us that he was not to be messed with when he was in his creams. - silly antics especially with Dave M with lots of laughter.. - a great housemaster who always pushed for the best from his boys and led by example. - a genuine care for his students along with high expectations. - his love and knowledge of sport! - the day he filled a 5 cubic metre skip with soil and managed to convince the truck driver to help him manually offload most of it when it was to heavy for the lifter. Overall it was a pleasure working with Chris and so sad to hear of this news.

To the big fella, We want to express our deepest thanks for your friendship. We hope you left knowing that so many people love you, and think the world of you. We'll always remember the good times (and boy there many). Over the last 9 years you've been a wonderful friend, so generous and supportive. You'll always be remembered as the life of the party, the person you can trust, the loyal mate. RIP dear friend, til we meet again.... Love always Chappo and Lib x.

Chris was a colleague of mine - fast red Alfa, big smile, followed through, dealt with some tough kids and parents - he was loyal, professional, fun. Even endured Y7 camp a few times! I reflect with great pride on what he achieved at Scots, the man that shared with all of us over beers, vino tinto, footy, crazy nights out with things we would rather all forget! But never will. .. I am so sorry Chris - my heart and soul are with your dear family, close friends and colleagues. RIP Chris xx

So many memories of Pels since he 1st arrived at Riverview in year 10 as a talented cricketer and athlete. The countless drinking sessions over the years, golf whenever we might manage it, great meals and endless banter. Despite these countless interactions a few stick out more clearly than others. Pels' European tour in 2004 where he spent weeks (if not longer) in Portugal for Euro 2004 having chosen to support Czech Republic. Chris chose well as the Czechs made it all the way to the semis only to be beaten by Greece. Afterwards he came and spent 3 days in Amsterdam with Claud and I - to recover from his exploits! Suffice to say that Chris continued to party in Amsterdam and had an amazing time. It was great to spend those few days with him in our adopted city. The second stand out is Chris and his singing exploits, ranging from a special request to sing one Sunday in chapel in year 12. Ollie allowed it and Chris was pleased as punch - confidence and self belief were character traits that Pels had in spades! Our duet on stage towards the end of the night at his wedding, with both of our shirts soaked through with sweat, remains a firm highlight of our friendship. My final and perhaps fondest memory was getting away to the Mornington Peninsula with Chris & Kate and a few other close friends for a weekend of drinking, eating and golf. It was at times like these that I saw Chris at his happiest. It's difficult to ever put oneself in the shoes of someone suffering from this most despicable of illnesses, I know I certainly can't. What I take solace from though is that despite the many demons that afflicted Chris, it didn't inhibit his ability to offer friendship, support and a knack of making others feel better about themselves. Rest in peace Pels, you will be sorely missed. Macca