Dear Dad It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. Think it was a postcard from the Whitsundays. Suppose by now you have done the Herald crossword and got it all out, even the word of the day … in the perfect place you are now. Have you checked out your death notice in the Herald? I can’t believe we got it wrong…. Though you did say you wanted the same as mums. But , hey how many people get their death notice in twice! Guess there’s not much time for sitting around now with so many people to catch up with. Tell me about the endless supply of people to play rummy king with? Hope you’re impressed with the turnout today. We’ve had so many phone calls and letters from people, some I don’t even know, who said amongst other things you were special, a gentleman. Joe, from Home care was visibly shaken by the news of your death. He told us how you always smiled and warmly welcomed him in, and he would stay on after cleaning, chatting to you. Where do you start with the story of someone’s life? I suppose the beginning is a good place. I can remember you telling me about growing up in Inverell. I wondered about racism in this small country town in the 1930’s but you assured me that you never experienced it at all. Should I tell everyone about your childhood memory of being chastised at the dinner table for wearing your hat? When Poppa Bill finally got you to take the hat off you revealed your attempt at a mohawk haircut, except reversed … a bare patch straight down the middle of your head! I bet Aunty Anne had a good laugh about that. Hope you were the good big brother for her and took on the all-important role of vetting possible boyfriends. Looking at your early family pictures I can clearly see that Aunty Anne was always a stunner. Wasn’t it Inverell High that you went to? I was talking to your school friend, Denise Fook, the other day and I’m sure he could recount lots of school day stories. I remember you telling me about the picnics out of town when you would all pile into cars and trucks with stacks of food and drink. I never really thought of Inverell as your home as most of my memories are of Casino where Nana Rubee and Poppa Bill moved to when you were 21. Wasn’t it Casino where you met mum at Elaine Fatt’s 21st. Mum was a city girl who had travelled up to the country with her family for the party… lucky for us it was you and not Norman, the banana man who wooed mum. Dare I tell everyone about your final minutes of fame on country radio? Hope I’m right in remembering it was a children’s radio show you hosted and one day (think it was your last day on air) you added a bit more at the end of the show, thinking you were off air with …. “Thank goodness it’s over with those little bugger’s” After the big city wedding at Holy Innocents C hurch Croydon you moved back to the country town of Wallangarra… Tricia arrived pretty soon after the honeymoon (well at least 10 months later!), followed by Johnnie 17 months later. I never did get the full story on why mum was in Sydney giving birth to me , all I ever heard was the contents of the telegram you sent her …Hope it’s a boy!! ( well I think Danny is glad I wasn’t a boy!) Michael came along 14 months after me. As we grew up people often mistook us for twins. Mark then joined us a few years later … the baby of the family. We were one big happy family weren’t we? I can still remember the dinner call… “Tricia Johnnie Lynnie Michael Mark”. Wasn’t it great that our family celebrations also included our cousins Jane, Graham, Kylie, Rachel, Aunty Anne and Uncle David ? We had a lot of fun playing boardgames.. mouse trap, twister, monopoly. Us kids were all so proud of you when you became the TV game show hero on “Say When” and beat the women at their game. That glass fish you won is something to behold. Something I always meant to ask you was how you and mum ever managed to get that above ground swimming pool put together and filled up with water between the time we went to bed and midnight on Christmas Eve when we lived at Five Dock. Christmas and birthdays were always so special for us all, actually life was full of celebrations: lots of family, friends and feasts. I can even remember the days at Rookwood cemetery at the Chinese temple … though the succulence of the duck is probably what I really remember. I bet there are heaps of people here today who have been privileged enough to be at your dinner table…. savouring one of your tasty meals. Special occasion cooking was always an elaborate affair with long lists of produce, early morning trips to the markets and endless chopping, stirring , frying , baking. I really think you went above and beyond the call of duty offering to cater for Danny and my wedding. Did you ever get that final catering figure… was it 150 or 180 people? It was sad that in the last few years of your life you lost that zest for cooking and food. But a great memory for us all was your last meal…. Christopher did a pretty good job didn’t he? The Mongolian lamb and Chinese green vegies were great. How amazing that your last home cooked meal was lovingly prepared by one of your grandsons! I should go back to all the socialising I can remember that you no doubt instigated, with mum’s encouragement. Did Mother Superior at Holy Innocents ever find out about Sister Bonaveture and Sister Cathy’s visits to our house where they kicked off their shoes and veils, downed a beer, then went for a swim??? I just thought it was normal to have religious brothers from De La Salle and priests visiting us for a drink, meal and sometimes even a game of cards. Yesterday we got a great letter from DLS Ashfield offering their condolences and saying how they had learned of the great contribution you had made over the years at the college. At the time I wasn’t so sure about having my father as a supervisor of the corridor dances! Then there were the all night card and mah-jong games. I still wonder why I’m such a bad card player. Actually I don’t know how you and mum ever found time to do all that volunteer work at schools, scouts, football teams and raise 5 kids. I guess your organisation skills were really put to the test and maybe some of that has brushed off on to Tricia, Mark and myself. Wasn’t Tricia once nick named “mayor of Manyana”? I bet you were really proud to see Tricia’s published book : Six out of Six – her story about being a kidney donor for Mark. It’s funny how she got the book just in time for you to see it. Even more amazing has been Mark’s great recovery with the 6 month milestone being next Friday. Already some people have said that it’s quite an interesting read about you as well. How amazing that Mark was so young when he set up and ran such a successful mechanical engineering business ? Maybe those who work with me might understand better my pedantic nature with organisation and where it comes from ! Did I tell you that Deborah, the funeral director even commented about how organised you were by leaving so many details about your funeral. I was never really able to broach the subject of just how hard it must have been for you and mum in trying to come to terms with the tragedies of Johnnie and Michael’s deaths. But I do clearly remember the new revival of life and zest for living that came as each grandchild was born with Guy coming only 4 years after Michael left us. How lucky were all your grandchildren …Guy, Nathan, Byron, Genevieve, Christopher, Joel and Tayla.. you went far beyond the role of a grandparent. Your cake creations were something to be believed and your party game organisation was the envy of every kid. So where are you going for your next trip ? I often wonder where the travel bug comes from.. because I think you and mum had it. How long is the list of countries you’ve been to? South East Asia, Japan, Europe, America? In the perfect place you are now is there the option to learn new things? Taking on challenges and learning new things was something you did in earnest. I don’t think there are many people who use a computer and surf the Internet in their 80’s! (and you even tackled internet banking). Then there was your photography … I didn’t know that I would have over 50 photo albums to go through in looking for photos for a slide show! Taking up snow ski ing at 50 was pretty out there too, though I guess you had already learnt to water ski. What was your secret when it came to being so tolerant … maybe it was some of Nana Rubee’s non-judgmental nature that wore off onto you. I can’t remember you passing judgement on Tricia’s surfie long haired, bare footed boyfriend, nor did you get Johnnie to return his hotted up Ford, or Mark’s motorbike, then there were all my overseas jaunts, even landing myself in a war zone and also Mark’s constant tinkering, banging and engine revving in the driveway at Croydon. You know as I ‘ve told people the sad news of your passing away they’ve said that they really should have made more of an effort to visit you and take you out. I assure them that your last few years were hard ones for you. That horrible debilitating disease – emphysema, robbed you of so much. It was such an effort for you to really do anything and I was surprised that even talking to more than 1 or 2 people was too much. This must have been so hard for you as you had been such a social person. As Tricia and I sat by your hospital bed last week we watched helplessly as you struggled for each breath. It was terrible and we both agreed that it was just way too hard for you. So I guess it’s goodbye for now but you can be assured that you wont be forgotten. There is a little bit of you in all your grandchildren. How lucky have they been to have had you as such a strong part of their childhood, youth and adulthood. I hope you don’t mind me wearing red, the Chinese symbol for happiness rather than traditional black but I’m hoping you have found true happiness again reunited in heaven who so many, at rest and at peace. Kung Hei Far Choi - Happy Chinese New year … celebrate well See you later , love from Lynnie