*A Requiem to a Great Friend - Segun Thomas* My friendship with Segun started way back in 1981 when, by providence, our paths crossed in New Brunswick shortly after I arrived in the United States. As Segun arrived in the United States before I did and had lived in the UK for about a year before transitioning to the United States, he became a very valuable resource and sounding board to a newbie like me as I sought to navigate the complexities of a new country. So we met through mutual friends, we clicked, and became close friends, through thick and thin. Segun’s first few years in the United States, when he attended Rutgers, served as a prelude to what was to become an extraordinary life of conciliatory, effective approach to relationships, qualities that made him one of the most critical pillars of the Nigerian American community in NJ. Having met by chance, Segun and I remained close friends by choice. Back in the day, a few of us formed an informal clique in New Brunswick. Times were tough and money was tight but those were trivial concerns because of the abundance of love and care amongst the group members. Those who had vehicles, like Segun, provided transportation to and from work for those who lacked wheels. And, work schedule permitting, we hung out on weekends in any one of our places, usually Segun’s because he had a bigger apartment, talking until the wee hours of the morning while we all gorged on take-out Chinese food. In the intervening years, we all got older and went our separate ways. Got married. Had children, most of whom are now young adults. But as we all changed and got older, the one constant was that Segun remained a drawing force, all too willing to forge new, lasting relationships and, often unprompted, lend a helping hand. Segun’s suggestion that I should connect with one of his contacts, for example, led to my very first professional job after I graduated from college. Segun acquired, quite naturally, the moniker of Chairman in recent years. I guess it had to do with his welcoming nature, his inclination to mentoring younger folks, as well as an innate ability to attract people to his orbit. He reveled in that. Especially in social outings, many of which he invited me to. In those gatherings, Segun was sure to introduce me to a number of fresh faces - his friends and acquaintances. In that sense, he was as a human magnet as well as a glue. The magnet attracted you and the glue bonded with you. That explained how and why we all gravitated towards, and formed relationships with, Segun. All of us. The old hands and the younger folks. Segun had a natural ability to relate to all, charitably and politely. A few weeks ago, I casually mentioned to him that I had just chatted up a Lagos-based mutual friend (who was part of the 1981 New Brunswick group) to extend my warm regards on the occasion of that friend’s milestone birthday. Segun got the guy’s contact information and called to congratulate him. An unexpected gesture of thoughtfulness and decency that proved quite uplifting to the recipient. I am sure each one of us has similar stories to tell. As he did in life, Segun continues to teach us lessons. The outpouring of love and emotion and the way we have all rallied to the Thomas family and around each other are testaments that good deeds can be rewarding. Just as importantly, perhaps, Segun’s passing teaches us that there is a fragility about life that we all take for granted. Our lives are, indeed, like sands through the hour glass. Segun’s passing still leaves me, like us all, shaken, in anguish and in shock. I will miss his friendship and selfless humanity dearly. Our thoughts and prayers are with his dear wife, Funmilayo Mojisola, as well as his children - Larry, Sean, and Adriel, and other members of the family. May God be with you and protect you all. I am praying for the day, and I hope it comes sooner rather than later, when our thoughts of Segun will evoke smiles of his humanity rather than tears of his absence. John Dunne’s eloquent words, written many centuries ago, that *”each man’s death diminishes me/for I am involved in mankind”*,and asking us *”not to send to know/for whom the bell tolls/it tolls for thee”* could not be any more apt. I know I am mightily diminished by Segun’s passing. I lost a dear friend not because the friendship failed but because it was brazenly, unfairly truncated. Segun had everything but the length of years on earth. You are going home, dear friend, but parts of all our hearts are going with you. Godspeed, Segun. May the soft winds of heaven guide and guard you. Barry
