i wanted to say more, but i couldn't,
the sound of my voice seemed strange
and though i was sure you could hear me,
i felt i was talking to myself
i became self consicous at the sound of my mouth moving words
echoing in the time and space
of which you were passing through.
you lay there, a girl slender and pale;
your skin was luminous
though not with youth or energy
vigour or health
it was like a veil of death at the door of your life.
your brows furrowed at certain sounds
and eased again and
for a horrifying moment
i felt you buried alive
morphine through your veins
your body not responding to your brain''s commands
hearing yet not able to move
feeling yet not able to cry
memories flashed by
laughter filled my head
the sound of your beautiful voice
never to be heard again.
i met you when i was 17
on a whirl wind european tour
we walked through the streets of antiquity,
through the marbled buttessses of churches and castles
roman walls and petit trianon,
notre dam and the uffizi gallery
your voice echoed the story
of apolo an daphne
and explained to me all botticelli
and the politics of medici
you knew every story there was to tell
the history of everything in my eyes!
i was in wonderment
amazed by your knowledge, and you,
were so young,
dad's beautiful blond SMART bombshell!
i really liked you
i cried at your wedding, i don't know why
you were the coolest wickedest step mother
you showed me all things universe and politics and intrigue
and brought me sweet sister sarah
we joined the astonomical society
and though we never did end up going to a meeting
we watched the series of the planets on dvd
and my love of everything universe was born
scary friday fondu night movies
piper heidsiek bubbles, laughter and fright
rows and rows of penguins amongst which
i found tirant lo blanc!
and the words i couldn't say to you then
i say to you now
what is a life
but that of a memory
held by another
and my memory of you
is beautiful and burns oh so bright
my sorrow lies selfishly
in what you leave behind.
rip susan jean mcalister - 7 November, 2011
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Thank you for being such a warm, caring and loving step mother. Thank you for generously sharing your extensive knowledge of just about everything there is to know about art, literature, politics, history, science, the universe and of course dinosaurs!....there was nothing you didn't know about, you were like Google personified! Thank you for opening up my unworldly 15 yo eyes on that once-in-a-lifetime trip to Europe - the visits to the great Galleries where without your erudite knowledge of the artist and the stories behind the art, we would not have appreciated what we were looking at. Thank you for your brilliant sense of humour and all the laughs we've shared over a glass or four of champers. Thank you for allowing Jono, Julie and I to come on your honeymoon to Japan!! I can't think of any other women who would put up with that! There are so many things I could thank you for Sue but mostly I say thank you for finding Dad attractive enough to marry for without that, we would not have known you. Lastly and most importantly thank you for Sarah, the light of your life and our much loved little sister. You will be sadly missed but never, ever forgotten.
Love
Step daughter No 2, Mina